what does god mean to me?

So it has been a good weekend. I went out to the west side of this state, Michigan, to spend the weekend with my brother and his friend at said friends' apartment. Got a pretty sick sunburn, too. Now, we went out and were at a restaurant and somehow started talking about religion, and how it relates to us. I am an atheist and started to explain how I don't go to church anymore and what I have gotten out of religion. I stated that even though I don't go, and I don't worship and pray, that if I got anything out of my upbringing as a Roman Catholic, it was to be good to other people. This just seems like common sense to me, and I don't believe that one should worship just to be able to carry out their lives in a non-dickish way to other people. I also explained that there are so many things wrong with the church and that if one knows anything about the crusades past and present, and the current pedophelia sweeping the rectories, that there are things wrong with the inherent culture of the modern church. My brother and his friend are both Catholics and go to church regularly. In so many words, they related that they feel they go to actually feel a relationship with god. Through being at a church on a Sunday, they feel more of a connection. And then asked me, "what started the big bang?". To which I replied there are so many millions of galaxies and that we are an accident. Then his friend asked me, "so there's nothing that put it all into motion?" and that "at a certain point one has to believe in some kind of god, right?" And what can I say, other than I don't know. I stated that even though I don't know that (which nobody does), it is not like I am going to ask for confession on my death bed when I know it is not fair if I don't go to church. And as a side note, I got confirmed, and my brother doesn't which he feels is unfair because I no longer believe. Just go do it if you're so jealous! It's really not that difficult, and if someone believes that much, they should at least be allowed into heaven, but only if they take the right classes, right?

Anyway, it goes back to an old philosophical question of religion and what are the benefits of not going vs. the benefits of going to church. On one hand, you don't go. You have saved a lot of time. If god doesn't exist, you spent that time in a better manner than wasting it in church. However, if he does exist, you are going to hell. However, you may go to church. In that case you waste a lot of time going to Church and doing whatever you do as a practicing (add religion here). If your particular god exists, then you go to heaven. If your god does not exist, then you have wasted a great deal of time and effort. The thing I'm saying is that who knows what the right religion is, and if going is necessary. But the thing all religions (I think) can agree on is being good to one another, a thing I brought up to them. I don't feel the need to waste my time to achieve something that comes off as common sense. Besides, I don't agree with every tenet of the church in terms of Abortion, Gay Marriage, Women's Rights, Morality, Drug Use, Sexual Conduct, or Freedom of Expression. All of these things also lead me away from a pew into my own mind, where I can formulate my own opinions. They are also the same beliefs that would place me in direct conflict with the same church I once belonged to, or should still belong to. I'm sure it would not be happy with anyone that did not believe the same things it did. If people want to worship, I'm not going to convert them away, whatever helps them get through the night is fine with me. Everyone has separate experiences when it comes to religion, and through their socialization in terms of religious views. For me, CRASS played a big part. Anyways, religion is mostly okay, however when it is used in terms of politics and through guilt trips, they make me uncomfortable. It is also a thing that can be used to springboard prejudices: see "cheap Jews", "radical Islam", etc. etc. So worship what you want, just don't use it to try to intrude onto the majority of the ideals I have or by supporting causes which try to push a specific religious agenda in my or anyones' government. I can't explain all of this in one column, but you get the gist. God means nothing to me, I'll take my chances on my own. If I'm wrong, I'm wrong.

Remember, no one rules.